So it was the Mother’s Day Weekend! Right from President Obama to my help including the handyman who came by to fix the air conditioner had words about it. While the President spoke about respect to the mother, equality to women and support to parents, the Help murmured a shy Happy Mother’s Day before she left. As we bid each other adieu I asked her plans for the oncoming weekend and she laughed- “Oh my madar is visiting from Mehico, she will cook for us all so I can catch up on laundry for the entire week. I will head to the laundromat.” The handy man/electrician fixing the air conditioner tightened the last screw, checked the insulation and said, “I would come by tomorrow to finish the job you know but (rolling his eyes) it is Mother’s Day so the boys and I got to do something.” He looked so troubled that I had to laugh and added my two bits of wisdom, just make the lady feel special. The man’s twenty eight year old ‘boy’ helping him grinned sheepishly in shared plight. What would make the mother happy? How to make her day special?
Special? Feeling special is relative holding different meaning to everyone. For some it may be expensive presents and elaborate meals while others might cherish quiet family time. Some go all out while others take it just as any other day. Some enjoy huge celebrations while others sneak away in depression. Most though would give an arm and a leg for that clean garage and yard work! The hubby and son have been in the kitchen since morning and it certainly seems to me if there was a saying that “the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach”, there should be a new one that says, “when you love somebody, cook them a meal.” Though I must admit their culinary skills are displayed all through the year and are not limited to one particular Sunday. When we were kids, we didn’t celebrate a particular Sunday as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. In fact India was introduced to Valentine’s Day only in the late 1980s and awareness of Women’s Day came in much later though the way Women’s Day is being deciphered and celebrated with each passing year, the Man needs to have a day dedicated to him soon- The International Men’s Day.
I got to know of Mother’s Day in Jamaica when the husband walked in carrying the little daughter in one arm and flowers in the other. She smiled gleefully delightedly aware that something special was happening and handed me my first Mother’s Day present. Lo Behold…I was introduced to the concept of this special Day in 1998 and immediately called my mum/ mum in law in India to wish them. I must admit I felt quite foolish when my mum wondered aloud what was the wish about though she graciously added thank you. With our new found knowledge of the existence of these special days the hubby and I conscientiously called our parents on their respective days and these gentle people born in the 1930s and 1940s laughed, smiled and seemed to humor the silly children of the 1960s. If they could see the commercialization of the day now, I wonder if they would still be amused or shocked at the extravaganza. At the cost of sounding cynical I don’t think it made a difference to our parents to be wished on one particular day of the year instead our regular calls to them gave them the happiness of a thousand Mother’s/Father’s Day everyday. Yes, we simply called our parents whether we lived in the same city or ten thousand miles away in a different time zones just to say hi, how are you? This simple gesture of one call beat any celebration of one Sunday of the year!
Mothers are generally simple, happy with random things like an odd shaped stone picked up by my then four year old brought me much joy and I still cherish various art work depicting me. So what if I seemed to have one arm longer than the other, hair resembling cotton candy, cylinder like body wearing a big toothy smile- the fine arts of my then little ones warmed my heart and touched my soul. Today I laugh exasperatedly when my super organized daughter shares her color coded planner with Plan A and Plan B for an entire semester on google spreadsheet with us and I again laugh exasperatedly as I see my son struggling to make a simple planner for his forthcoming finals on a white board. I heard out a mum who bemoaned with concern as her newly minted freshman at high school didn’t have a date for the prom while another was concerned that hers was spending too much for dressing up for the event. One mum was upset that her child was socializing ‘too much’ while another thought she was lucky as hers didn’t have a social life. One thought her teen was not eating enough while another was thinking of putting hers on a special diet and exercise. One worried about her child’s impending divorce while the another was concerned about the child’s child’s, yes the grandchild’s food habits!
Moral of the story is wherever you are, when you are mum you worry of things no one would worry about. You are concerned about everything including er hmm shit! Relate to it? What are your mommy moments- the joyful, the heartbreaking, the heart in the mouth, heart dropped to stomach, the touching moment, the funny moments, the exasperating moments, ah those endless moments…And surprises of surprises, as I googled to find a suitable image for today’s topic I found this website”www.mothersdaysmessages.com!” Really!!!
Picture courtesy: http://www.mothersdaysmessages.com